Sunday, April 16, 2006

Desires of the Heart

Sometimes all we can do is what is placed before us.

That's from a book I love. The idea anyway. Maybe God won't tell us, or maybe we just can't hear His voice. So what to do? Only what is put before us. I know what is put before me now. Germany. And my writing. The only problem is what to do with it. My writing, I mean, sure, I can write. But Germany? Germany, aye, that one's different. Germany's kinda, like, an ocean away. So I'm hoping to go on a mission trip there next summer. But what if there isn't one sponsered next summer?

But I trust there will be. What else can I do?

Delight yourself in the LORD
and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Germany is the desire of my heart. God has put it there. It is certainly not of my own doing. Germany, missionary work in general, is not something I would pick for myself. I'm a shy and self-conscious person, I don't interact with people well. Missions is not my thing. But here I am, willing to go to a foreign country, willing to learn the language and culture of this people, because they are embedded in my soul. It's something I couldn't get out of me if I wanted to. But I don't, because a purpose is what every person needs and I have found mine. To live for God. And doing that by learning German, going to Germany, maybe even living there someday. God has planted a desire in my heart and it will not be moved. I will not let it.

Germany and writing are not the only desires I have. One that catches on my heart rather painfully every time I go to a concert. I want to be a drummer. Bad. But for now that is not placed before me and so I leave it. Maybe forever, maybe only for a time. But not all my desires are God's desires and God's will. So I will try to leave it with Him.

One thing you must always remember is that our first desire is always to be God. He says to seek Him first, first, and these things will be added. These things meaning whatever we will need. He'll provide if we only look to Him and trust.

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

May He grant you your heart's desires and may you find what you are seeking,


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Contest

I just sent in my contest entry. And now I'm dying to get it back.

The DragonKeeper forum is holding a grand trivia contest. I got the questions and spent three days agonizing over them til I finally got them all. All but one that is. I decided to just give up on it, because I knew I wasn't going to find it. And I haven't yet. Now that I've actually sent it in though, I'm searching the forum even more thoroughly then I did before. If I find it now, I'll die.

So, I'm desperately hoping I don't find it and at the same time desperately searching for it. Somebody shoot me.

At least I got all the other questions answered. (in noble voice) To the best of my ability and knowledge. All I can do is hope. (cut noble voice) And wait impatiently until monday. *wails* If I manage to survive that long I'll post the results. If...

Until then, live.


Thursday, April 06, 2006

Happy, happy, happy!

I'm happy today. I actually wrote something! Yesterday too. Currently (as in the last thing I wrote in. Ha. I tend to jump around.) I'm working on Mara and Bryan's story. It's fantasy, most of mine is. I'm just so amazed. I feel like I really made some progress! Yes, it was only six pages, and handwritten at that, but that's good for me. I have trouble expressing myself. You may well have noticed, ah?

I don't really have anything to write. I was just bored *grin* so I think I'll leave off here. Enjoy life in general, all.
God keep you,


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Here goes....

Well, truth, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here. I needed somewhere where i could write and nobody I know can read it, so what safer place than the internet, right? If nobody ever reads this it's fine with me. So, what am I doing? Who knows. God certainly. Other than that... nobody. Someday maybe. Until then I can just ramble since I'm so good at that. Maybe someone will even find it *gasp!* interesting. But if not I don't the heck care.

So, me. I write. Stories. Tales. Pieces of dreams that fall from heaven. And amazingly, right into my own hands. I have so many stories and characters I have trouble keeping them all straight sometimes. But I love every last one of them. And pray that someday I'll have the courage to pass them to someone else so they too can fall in love. Maybe someday I'll be published. I can actually see that. So many stories and not being able to write them down is just a shame. So I won't let that happen. I think this will help. I dream...

God bless,