Friday, June 30, 2006

One more thing

I have to announce this. Can't believe I forgot! My German came today. Rosetta Stone curriculum. Really good they say.

When can I start?


It's Over

Finally, yes, it's done. Everything.

CHEO, graduation, and graduation party. And mini shopping trip with Grandma. And my bulletin insert.

And.... reading DragonKnight!

Ok, let's back up.

It started on friday. (Well, actually it started on thursday, but I didn't go. *grin*) The whole family (yup, all four of us) got into the van and drove of to Columbus to the CHEO (Christian Home Educators of Ohio) convention. Two good things come to mind about friday. 1: Dad dragged me off to the Good Stewerd Books booth and made me pick out a book to buy. I saw DragonSpell and, well, was there any choice after that? 2: We got to listen to RadioU while in Columbus. I guess you could make it three if you count all the exercise I got running around the humongous building.

Saturday was worse. Tasha's graduation. I count one thing I enjoyed about saturday. I got to play amateur photographer with Dad's camera. And of course RadioU.

Sunday. Tasha's graduation party. Whee. Three hours of people. People I don't know, for that matter. As if we aren't all tired enough already. *sigh* After the people leave we have to go to Adam's grad party. Good thing there. We got to play some badmitton. (poor birdy...) And Danielle and Erica were good. It was a nice change. *grin*

Go home, fall into bed.

Next day? (Ah, dear monday, so close to my heart...) (Yes, that was sarcasm.) Grandma comes over. Now don't get me wrong, Grandma is awesome. Yes, she probably needs some help, but don't we all? Besides she says she's only like this when with us. I don't believe her. We went "shopping". So it only consisted of one store. We still went somewhere. Then to lunch at El Campestre. The server there remembers us (ah, bad memories, bad memories...). His name is Margarito. We went on Tasha's birthday and she got to wear a sombrero! Admittedly, it's bad when the waiter knows your orders after three times.

The one store we went to was The Bookery, a Christian book store. Grandma bought us all a book and I bet you already know which one I got. DragonKnight! So my day was made. Can we go home now?

We did. And played Phase 10. Mom actually won. Grandma always wins. It was amazing, a miracle.

And finally Tuesday came. Unfortunately I was in the middle of a series and had to finish.

Wednesday wasn't a good day. I had to write a bulletin insert about our youth group. What we're into right now, etc. Right now, we're not doing much of anything though, so... yeah. It was also my first. I freaked out most of the day, sneaking in bits of DragonSpell whenever I could and finally finished. I will be surprised if it's actually in the bulletin on sunday. Once I finished though, I read like mad. Finished DragonSpell at like 11:30 that night. I love these books.

Yesterday was the most fun though. I got up, took my shower, read my short section of history (yes, but I'm almost done!) and sat down to read DragonQuest. Around 9:30 Mom tells me I need to take a walk sometime. "Now?" "Sure." So I take a walk, 20 minutes, 1 mile. I'm back and reading again. Finish DragonQuest and start DragonKnight. I finished DragonKnight very early this morning. As in 12:20 this morning.

It was amazing. Beautiful. Whatever else one could ever think of to call it (only good words of course) it was. I loved it. Now I have to wait for the last one though. DragonFire. Should come out June next year. But it's ok. Because before that comes... the third Tahn book! (If only I knew the title, it would sound so much better.) January 1st it will be released. I'll preorder it of course.

That's my past week. Some good, some not.

Remind me never to graduate.


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

My Regrets with Crystal, Part 2

I'm back. Everyone's gone. Now where was I.... Ah, yes...

Friday afternoon Crystal called, I'm not even sure why. Mom thought she sounded bored, understandable, there's not a lot to do at her house. So Mom looks over at me, whispers, "Do you mind if I invite her to spend the night?"

I sigh inwardly but shrug, "Sure, whatever." I stare at the book on the island in front of me. I'll sure never get it finished today now. But for Crystal, sigh, okay.

But that was just how it all started. I mean, I'm not so selfish that I can't get over not reading a book in the evening like I wanted to.

She comes. We have an enjoyable time. I send a sigh to the heavens. Okay, I get it. I need to socialize; this is good for me. That evening we're sitting on my bed talking. It's starting to get late; we really should go to sleep. But we keep talking. About everything, things neither of us have talked about for a very long time, or ever. I admit, she did more talking than I did, but it always works that way. And I sure did get to thinking.

We talked about her mom and dad. What we missed. Her new homelife. How she got along with her new "family". I still can't get used to her calling her aunt and uncle, mom and dad. It seems like they're to old to switch like that. I don't think I'll ever like it.

Then she decided she wanted to hear me talk more, I guess. She asked about my stories. "Tell me about one of them." I stutter around Ryn's childhood. Then I reach the part when she meets Caleb again, after all those years. And I just don't know how to explain. "Read it to me." And I did. I got out my notebook and read part of their meeting. When I couldn't stand to read any more out loud, I gave it to her to finish. I pray to God that there's a day when I won't regret that. But I don't think it'll be soon in coming.

The compliments and encouragement she gave me touched me deeply. Gosh it was only a rough first draft. But it hurt, still does.

Unfortunately, that's not the end.

Saturday. A new dawn, a clean slate, right? If only it were that easy. We slept in late, watched Scooby Doo. Twice. (For some reason she's addicted to commentaries.) Theresa called. "We're headed to Mansfield in a few minutes. Do you want us to pick you up on the way there or the way back?" The way back, of course. Fine with me. They'd be here to pick her up, what, two, three at latest? Sounds okay. I'll survive.

They didn't get there until 5:30. I didn't have a single minute to myself that day. That afternoon up in my room, she asked to borrow some books. How does one refuse? She took three. I don't mind. It's the ones she took that bothered. None I read before. That seems inconsequential, I know. And it wasn't actually that I hadn't read the books. I had. Just not these books. I'd read the copies from the library, but these were mine. Call me posessive, but if there was anything I could've done to have stopped her from taking those (outside the extremely dramatic) I would've. I prayed that God would let her forget, anything. Nothing. She left my house with three books I didn't own. Never would. Because reading a book is what makes it yours. Those books will never be mine. (I seriously hope I am being overly dramatic, I fear I'm not.) I hope the years will fade those first readings and make them mine again.

Saturday night I sat on my floor and cried, begged God to make it better. I hurt. I'd given something I feared wasn't mine. My story. I gave so much of myself. Add the books and I think I gave too much.

There's one other thing I regret about that friday night. Crystal asked me what I missed most about Aunt Carol and I never really answered. I know now.


Her laugh.


My Regrets with Crystal

Today is Tasha's birthday. She's 18, an adult. Scary. Nathan and Crystal are coming over for supper of course. Should be here any minute in fact. I have to hurry. Richard's not coming; he's down in Texas. I'm not looking forward to seeing Crystal. The last visit left me in tears. Not that anyone saw. I wouldn't dare.

It all started friday afternoon....

Hopefully I'll get back. They're here.

With all hope,


Monday, June 05, 2006


I got my poster today! I am so happy. Now I just have to wait for my room to get finished so I can put it on my wall. *sigh* Hopefully this summer. I know exactly where I'm going to put it. Actually I know how I'm going to arrange my whole room. I get to unpack all my boxes, get rid of some stuff. (After all, if I've lived without it for 2 years how important can it be?) Oh I can't wait. Please God, let it be finished this summer.

The poster is humongous. It is so sweet. It's the cover of the third book in the DragonKeeper series, DragonKnight. At the bottom of the poster are all three book covers. I can't wait till I can buy the book! Just a few more days till it's out. 'Course I have to have the money too. I should though. I think.

Either way, I will read this book sometime soon. I can't wait. Hehe. Soon, my pretties, soon!

Well, I need to go eat my lunch, then shopping for Tasha's birthday present. What to get... Oh dear.

God bless,


Sunday, June 04, 2006

Of Hurts and Love

Natasha went to see X3 again last night. Adam called up and Tasha asked me to go, but Mark and Kami were here with there five kids and I gave an indefinite answer because I wasn't sure how much money I had. Then I remembered that I had gotten a check in the mail from Grandma and Grandpa that day. If I could borrow a couple of bucks until I could cash it, I'd be fine. But Adam came and picked her up and she left without offering again. So I stayed home. And I admit it, I cried myself to sleep last night. Not my greatest moment.

I now know what happened after the credits because Tasha told Dad and I was sitting there too. I don't think she's realized how much she hurt me. Maybe I didn't give a vague enough amswer. Maybe she thought I really didn't want to stay up that late (like I care). I was up that late anyway. I heard her come home. Couldn't sleep.

I realize that this probably sounds pathetic. Believe me, you have no idea how much I tried to convince myself last night that it was just a stupid movie. I didn't succeed. X-Men has become one of my obsessions. One of the good ones and one of the few ones of this level. This is a high. I use this to survive. It's something that drives me. Not quite to the extent of my Germany and stories, but only because those are constant and this will eventually fade. I'll always have it though. And I'll always regret yesterday. I could've done something more. I know that. But I can't manage to push myself. If she'd known I have no doubt I would have been in that theater last night.

But there's nothing more to do about it now. I just hope to see it in dollar. Please God.

Bless you in your chances,